U: Man, this building is NOISY during the day. People slamming doors, running up and down the hallway, etc.
P: I would not like that.
P: Tahoe must be nice.
U: Yeah
P: I like quiet.
P: Today morning, it was quiet, fresh
P: And birds were singing
P: Senile (I think that’s the correct word)
U: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Senile means demented.
P: Hmmm . . .
P: Okay, I was close.
U: Pastoral?
P: Hmmmm . . . maybe so
P: Serene! That is it.
U: Ohhh . . . ha ha ha . . . yeah, that’s it.
U: HA HA HA HA HA HA . . . sorry
P: Nahh, close enough
P: You will need to try these apple turnarounds that my wife and I tried the other day.
P: They were very good
U: Turnovers?
P: Yes, turnovers.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Sushi in the Suburbs
I had a Miranda moment today. Straight from a Sex and the City episode.
I was heading home and decided to pick up some sushi for dinner. I grabbed my cell phone and called my favorite local sushi restaurant to place an order.
S: Hello? (heavily accented Japanese voice)
U: Hi, I'd like to place an order to pick up.
S: Okay, what would you like?
U: One order of unagi roll, one order of spicy tuna . . .
S: ha ha ha ha ha . . . yes, spicy tuna . . . giggle giggle
U: Uhh, yeah, one order of spicy tuna and . . .
S: giggle giggle . . . spicy tuna . . . giggle giggle
U: Uhhh, is there a problem?
S: Yes, spicy tuna, anything else?
U: Yes, and an order of oshinko roll.
S: Okay, 15 minutes.
U: Thanks.
It was unsettling. What's so funny about spicy tuna?
I was heading home and decided to pick up some sushi for dinner. I grabbed my cell phone and called my favorite local sushi restaurant to place an order.
S: Hello? (heavily accented Japanese voice)
U: Hi, I'd like to place an order to pick up.
S: Okay, what would you like?
U: One order of unagi roll, one order of spicy tuna . . .
S: ha ha ha ha ha . . . yes, spicy tuna . . . giggle giggle
U: Uhh, yeah, one order of spicy tuna and . . .
S: giggle giggle . . . spicy tuna . . . giggle giggle
U: Uhhh, is there a problem?
S: Yes, spicy tuna, anything else?
U: Yes, and an order of oshinko roll.
S: Okay, 15 minutes.
U: Thanks.
It was unsettling. What's so funny about spicy tuna?
Monday, April 17, 2006
Homeland Security
Dialing . . .
Phone ringing . . .
My niece answers.
J: Hello
U: Where do you live?
J: Ha ha ha ha ha . . . ohh yeahhhh, which way are you coming from?
U: 580
J: Okay, well I’ll tell you the easiest way.
U: Okay
J: Get off on Dublin Boulevard and go right at the end of the exit.
U: Okay . . .
J: Follow that all the way down until the street name changes to the name of my street.
U: Which is?
J: It doesn’t matter cuz you won’t notice anyway. There’s no sign saying that it’s changing.
U: But, just for reference, what’s the name of the street, what’s your address?
J: I don’t know if there’s a sign saying what it is.
U: Well . . . do you know what it is?
J: Ha ha ha ha ha, of course, Aunty Urban.
U: Well . . . is your address some sort of state secret?
J: Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, no. I just was trying to think of whether there are any street signs that would tell you.
U: Well, it won’t matter if there are if I don’t know what I’m looking for. WHAT. IS. YOUR. ADDRESS.
J: Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha. It’s St. John’s.
U: Okay, was that so hard? Now, what is your address?
J: It doesn’t matter cuz there isn’t a number on the house. So, just follow the street until you pass through all the street lights and then you’ll go through three stop signs, and it’s the big green house after the third stop sign.
U: The big green house where? Which side of the street is it on? Is it right at the third stop sign?
J: Ha ha ha ha ha, no. It’s a few houses down. You’ll see it, it’s a big green house and you’ll see Jim’s truck out front.
U: Are there other green houses on your block?
J: Yes, there are a few of them.
U: Well . . . how will I know which one is your’s?
J: I told you . . . you’ll see Jim’s truck out front.
U: GIVE. ME. YOUR. ADDRESS.
J: Oh, ha ha ha ha, it’s 529 but you can’t see the address on the house.
So, I follow the directions, get to the block where her house is and there are five big houses that would qualify as being painted various shades of green. I see Jim’s truck parked in front of one of them so I park behind it and get out of the car. I’m crawling around the back of the car grabbing the things I’ve brought and . . . turn to look at the house and . . . it’s not the right address. I call her back on the phone and ask whether Jim has moved his car or whether she gave me the wrong address. She says no to both so I explain that I am parked behind Jim’s car but it’s in front of a house with 526 on it so she sends Jim to come and get me.
As we approach their house (on the other side of the street and about 3 houses down) there, on the front of it their white and green house, in hard to miss numbers, are the numbers 529.
Phone ringing . . .
My niece answers.
J: Hello
U: Where do you live?
J: Ha ha ha ha ha . . . ohh yeahhhh, which way are you coming from?
U: 580
J: Okay, well I’ll tell you the easiest way.
U: Okay
J: Get off on Dublin Boulevard and go right at the end of the exit.
U: Okay . . .
J: Follow that all the way down until the street name changes to the name of my street.
U: Which is?
J: It doesn’t matter cuz you won’t notice anyway. There’s no sign saying that it’s changing.
U: But, just for reference, what’s the name of the street, what’s your address?
J: I don’t know if there’s a sign saying what it is.
U: Well . . . do you know what it is?
J: Ha ha ha ha ha, of course, Aunty Urban.
U: Well . . . is your address some sort of state secret?
J: Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, no. I just was trying to think of whether there are any street signs that would tell you.
U: Well, it won’t matter if there are if I don’t know what I’m looking for. WHAT. IS. YOUR. ADDRESS.
J: Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha. It’s St. John’s.
U: Okay, was that so hard? Now, what is your address?
J: It doesn’t matter cuz there isn’t a number on the house. So, just follow the street until you pass through all the street lights and then you’ll go through three stop signs, and it’s the big green house after the third stop sign.
U: The big green house where? Which side of the street is it on? Is it right at the third stop sign?
J: Ha ha ha ha ha, no. It’s a few houses down. You’ll see it, it’s a big green house and you’ll see Jim’s truck out front.
U: Are there other green houses on your block?
J: Yes, there are a few of them.
U: Well . . . how will I know which one is your’s?
J: I told you . . . you’ll see Jim’s truck out front.
U: GIVE. ME. YOUR. ADDRESS.
J: Oh, ha ha ha ha, it’s 529 but you can’t see the address on the house.
So, I follow the directions, get to the block where her house is and there are five big houses that would qualify as being painted various shades of green. I see Jim’s truck parked in front of one of them so I park behind it and get out of the car. I’m crawling around the back of the car grabbing the things I’ve brought and . . . turn to look at the house and . . . it’s not the right address. I call her back on the phone and ask whether Jim has moved his car or whether she gave me the wrong address. She says no to both so I explain that I am parked behind Jim’s car but it’s in front of a house with 526 on it so she sends Jim to come and get me.
As we approach their house (on the other side of the street and about 3 houses down) there, on the front of it their white and green house, in hard to miss numbers, are the numbers 529.
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