H was talking on the phone this morning and I heard him say, "Yeah, the old lady shared her cold." and . . . I was stunned. Not only had I never heard him use this term . . . he's been warned about it.
Urban: Uhhh, who were you talking with?
H: Mitch
Urban: And . . . who shared their cold with you?
H: Myyyy . . . baby?
Urban: Noooo . . .
H: Myyyy . . . fiance?
Urban: Noooo . . .
H: Myyyyy . . . lady?
Urban: Getting warmer . . . and making me gag.
H: (laughing) Awww . . . come on. I'm a big tough guy. Biker dude. That's how we talk.
Urban: Uhhhh . . . you're a middle-aged, mild-mannered, business owner who hasn't owned a motorcycle since you were 17.
H: (laughing) Oh yeah . . . that is true . . .
Urban: Nice try.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Burn Ward
Not much to write about lately. Just been working, doing home stuff, etc.
The most interesting thing to happen in the last few days is that I burnt the SHIT out of both my hands yesterday. Pretty bad, too. I was trying this new pork chop recipe where you brown the pork chops on the stove, pour this sauce over them and then finish them in a 400 degree oven. So, I did as the recipe outlined and then, when they were done, I went to get the pan out of the oven and stupidly tried doing it with one hand. The pan wobbled and out of instinct I grabbed the little handle on the other side to steady it with my left un-pot-holdered hand. Smart.
I yelped and did a little "holy cow my left hand is burnt to shit but I have to save the pork chops" dance and actually got it out of the oven and onto the stove top by the time H came running in. By the time he got there I was at the sink drenching my hand in ice cold water. He surveyed the mess and (some spilled during my crazy little dance), made sure I was okay and started cleaning up the mess.
Then, I saw him bent down cleaning up the mess on the floor and the very, very hot handle of the pan sticking out and thought, "Uh oh, I better move that before he stands up and runs into that." and . . . walked over, wiped the water off my hands and . . . grabbed the smoking hot handle with my right hand to turn the pan around. I yelped, did a little "holy cow my right hand is burnt to shit" dance and H whipped his head up to see what I was yelping about this time and nearly knocked me out with his head hitting my chin.
So, I'm dancing around yelping about my hand, holding my chin with my other burnt hand, and trying to get around H to get to the sink to put cold water on my right hand. H is dancing around trying to get around me and . . . we're just getting in each other's way until I finally just yelled, "STOP FUCKING MOVING!" and he did and . . . I got around him and stood at the sink for a full 5 minutes or more letting ice cold water run over my fried hands.
I finally turned off the water and surveyed the damage on my hands and it was pretty bad. Meanwhile, H is setting the table for dinner.
"Honey, do we need sharp knives or will a butter knife do?"
"Honey, what do you want to drink?"
Etc.
I explained that knives and forks were irrelevant to me at this point since I would not be able to hold either. He didn't believe me and came over to look at my hands and said, "Holy shit. Do you need to go to the hospital?"
I said no but I was starving so H cut up my meat and we filled a bowl up with ice and water and I alternately soaked my hands and ate my dinner. Needless to say, trying to handle cutlery with numbed burnt hands was kinda difficult so I didn't eat much but, enough to satisfy.
So, I spent the next few hours alternately sticking my hands into the ice water until I couldn't take it and then removing them and waiting for the burns to start hurting again and then back into the ice water. I slept on the couch so that I could continue doing this cuz it hurt so bad I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. So I was lying on the couch with a big bowl of ice water next to me doing the alternating thing. I figured that eventually I'd get so sleepy that it would just be a matter of getting my hands numb enough that I could fall asleep before the feeling returned and eventually, that happened. For a couple of hours the pain would wake me up now and then and I'd stick my hands back in the water but eventually I was able to sleep for a few hours and this morning, the pain was gone but my hands are pretty thrashed.
The thumb on my left hand is the worst. There is a huge thick white blister that practically wraps around my thumb and several spots that are either bright shiney burnt looking or yellow, hard and shriveled. My right hand is generally worse cuz the burns cover more area. Pretty much from the middle of my palm up to the first knuckle of my fingers (the one right below the tip, not the first knuckle up from the palm).
Like my left hand, the skin is bright burned shiney in some places and across all four fingers from palm to that first knuckle the skin is yellow and burned and creepy looking, and there are three places where the burn is deeper and still kinda hurts but . . . other than that the burning pain is gone. There was stiffness in the skin all day and it felt like it was going to crack when I bent my fingers but I've been putting vitamin E oil on it and it feels more supple now. Once in a while I forget and grab something tight and then it hurts.
But, I made a side dish with the pork chops that turned out to be really, really good and it was very easy as well. It was an orzo dish I made up and boy was it good. That was the bright spot.
The most interesting thing to happen in the last few days is that I burnt the SHIT out of both my hands yesterday. Pretty bad, too. I was trying this new pork chop recipe where you brown the pork chops on the stove, pour this sauce over them and then finish them in a 400 degree oven. So, I did as the recipe outlined and then, when they were done, I went to get the pan out of the oven and stupidly tried doing it with one hand. The pan wobbled and out of instinct I grabbed the little handle on the other side to steady it with my left un-pot-holdered hand. Smart.
I yelped and did a little "holy cow my left hand is burnt to shit but I have to save the pork chops" dance and actually got it out of the oven and onto the stove top by the time H came running in. By the time he got there I was at the sink drenching my hand in ice cold water. He surveyed the mess and (some spilled during my crazy little dance), made sure I was okay and started cleaning up the mess.
Then, I saw him bent down cleaning up the mess on the floor and the very, very hot handle of the pan sticking out and thought, "Uh oh, I better move that before he stands up and runs into that." and . . . walked over, wiped the water off my hands and . . . grabbed the smoking hot handle with my right hand to turn the pan around. I yelped, did a little "holy cow my right hand is burnt to shit" dance and H whipped his head up to see what I was yelping about this time and nearly knocked me out with his head hitting my chin.
So, I'm dancing around yelping about my hand, holding my chin with my other burnt hand, and trying to get around H to get to the sink to put cold water on my right hand. H is dancing around trying to get around me and . . . we're just getting in each other's way until I finally just yelled, "STOP FUCKING MOVING!" and he did and . . . I got around him and stood at the sink for a full 5 minutes or more letting ice cold water run over my fried hands.
I finally turned off the water and surveyed the damage on my hands and it was pretty bad. Meanwhile, H is setting the table for dinner.
"Honey, do we need sharp knives or will a butter knife do?"
"Honey, what do you want to drink?"
Etc.
I explained that knives and forks were irrelevant to me at this point since I would not be able to hold either. He didn't believe me and came over to look at my hands and said, "Holy shit. Do you need to go to the hospital?"
I said no but I was starving so H cut up my meat and we filled a bowl up with ice and water and I alternately soaked my hands and ate my dinner. Needless to say, trying to handle cutlery with numbed burnt hands was kinda difficult so I didn't eat much but, enough to satisfy.
So, I spent the next few hours alternately sticking my hands into the ice water until I couldn't take it and then removing them and waiting for the burns to start hurting again and then back into the ice water. I slept on the couch so that I could continue doing this cuz it hurt so bad I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. So I was lying on the couch with a big bowl of ice water next to me doing the alternating thing. I figured that eventually I'd get so sleepy that it would just be a matter of getting my hands numb enough that I could fall asleep before the feeling returned and eventually, that happened. For a couple of hours the pain would wake me up now and then and I'd stick my hands back in the water but eventually I was able to sleep for a few hours and this morning, the pain was gone but my hands are pretty thrashed.
The thumb on my left hand is the worst. There is a huge thick white blister that practically wraps around my thumb and several spots that are either bright shiney burnt looking or yellow, hard and shriveled. My right hand is generally worse cuz the burns cover more area. Pretty much from the middle of my palm up to the first knuckle of my fingers (the one right below the tip, not the first knuckle up from the palm).
Like my left hand, the skin is bright burned shiney in some places and across all four fingers from palm to that first knuckle the skin is yellow and burned and creepy looking, and there are three places where the burn is deeper and still kinda hurts but . . . other than that the burning pain is gone. There was stiffness in the skin all day and it felt like it was going to crack when I bent my fingers but I've been putting vitamin E oil on it and it feels more supple now. Once in a while I forget and grab something tight and then it hurts.
But, I made a side dish with the pork chops that turned out to be really, really good and it was very easy as well. It was an orzo dish I made up and boy was it good. That was the bright spot.
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