Saturday in the Sticks

I drove out to Reno today to run some errands and my sister called. She said that because she was in a dressing room at a clothing store, she had me on speaker phone so . . . I started yelling into the phone:

“My sister is a shoplifter!!!!”

“Check her bags before she leaves!!!!”

“Don’t let her charge anything, they’re probably not even her charge cards”

And stuff like that.

It was great. She said when she came out of the dressing room, a guy in the store was looking at her funny and following her around. Not sure if it was her paranoia or true but . . . I loved every minute of it.

Strange things seen while driving home:

Four teenage boys standing on the side of the road chatting. One boy was really tall – I’d guess 6’ 3”ish and he was really thin and . . . he was wearing shorts that were so low on his hips you could actually see his pubic hair and half his ass. The only thing holding them up had to be his whanker, they were that low. He was standing there with his arms up in the air, chatting with his friends and I was wondering . . . why didn’t one of them say something to him? My nephews woulda been like, “Dude, pull up your pants. I don’t want to look at your freaking pubes.” Or something to that effect.

A mid-50ish woman who had a ton of makeup on, HUGE Dolly Parton hair, big ole boobs, dressed in all black – long black stretch pants, tight tight tight shirt, HUGE goggles on . . . rollerblading very, very fast on the side of the highway while pushing a baby stroller with a baby in it. So many things sprung to mind . . . first, the incongruity of it . . . then the dangerousness of it . . . then whether she had kidnapped the kid and was making a break for it . . . etc. It was very odd.

Two more fucking Subarus wreaking havoc on the roadways. The sickening thing is . . . they cause all this turmoil and just drive through it and away unscathed while cars are swerving and slamming on brakes all around them. Like an army of stupid Mr. Magoos running around.