My Girl

Things are going well on the NG front and I have to admit, I'm crazy about him. He's funny, smart, and we have so much in common it's freakish. Not to mention . . . he's so amazingly beautiful to look at. I swear, I think pheramones are playing some part in all this because I love the way he smells and when I'm in his presence I'm helpless and I have NEVER felt this way about anyone. Ever. It's bizarre.

It's funny, he talks differently depending on who he is talking to -- we all do, I'm sure, to some extent but, this is more marked than I've seen with other people. If he's talking with people he doesn't know, he talks like I do. When he's talking with family, it's slightly different but, when he's talking with another black person that isn't family, his diction definitely becomes MUCH more "black" -- e.g., he says "axe" instead of "ask"; etc.

But one of the things he does when talking like this is cute . . . he refers to me as "my girl". Like, "We're on our way over, I'm coming with my girl." or "I'm on my way to dinner with my girl.", etc.  It makes me smile when he does it, it's cute. When talking with his family or people he doesn't know, he generally refers to me by name.

Something odd is happening though, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I've always been comfortable with my looks, never been insecure about anything related to them, ever. But, when it comes to NG, I've started having this weird reaction . . . I have these feelings of insecurity about his being faithful. We spend so much time together he doesn't really have time to cheat but . . . I keep having these fleeting, uncomfortable, feelings about women coming on to him.

I've traced them down to two things: 1) he was dating other women when we first met but stopped after the first couple of weeks and we've been exclusive since then but some of them still call him; and 2) that feeling that I have about how absolutely gorgeous and irresistable he is and assume that everyone wants him cuz . . . I do.

It's a strange phenomenon and it really bugs me. I can't decide whether I should trust that feeling or ignore it. He hasn't done anything to cause me to be suspicious and we spend so much time together that he doesn't have time to do anything with anyone else but . . . there it is.

On another subject, his relationship with Jack is hilarious.  I would call it antagonistic on both parties part but, amiably antagonistic. It cracks me up. The funny thing is, Jack has the upper hand.

I know it's fast but, NG and I are talking about moving in together. No timeline, just talking in general but I need to get this weird insecurity under control before I make a leap like that. Not sure what to do to quell it but, I need to. I keep telling myself on one hand my instincts are usually good; on the other hand, I have no reason to feel this way -- I'm 100% involved in his life, come and go freely from his place, family and friends all know or know of me, etc. So, I can't tell if it's some weird insecurity on my part or my instincts are trying to tell me something.

Lethal Stubble?

Me: I'm thinking of kidnapping you and taking you to work with me.
NG: That would be dangerous.
Me: Why?
NG:  Well, for one thing, I haven't shaved.