Friday, March 11, 2011
Booty Call II
AA just texted me saying:
"I miss you sooooooooo much"
and then . . .
"I want 2 make mad passionate love 2 u"
I suspect he's drunk.
"I miss you sooooooooo much"
and then . . .
"I want 2 make mad passionate love 2 u"
I suspect he's drunk.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Going Forward
It's a little disconcerting, disheartening, etc., talking with the police about this. They had told, last week, me to think about whether I wanted to go ahead and ask the DA to press charges. I thought about it and called the detective last Friday and told him that I wanted to go forward.
We talked about it a bit and he said that he would get to it today. He told me that he would suggest to the DA that they only charge AA with a misdemeanor and that at most he'd probably get probation. At worst, the DA wouldn't press charges because of my relationship with AA at the time he took the car.
The detective called again today to see what I wanted to do -- apparently, he's forgotten our prior conversation. And, the thing that sucks is, while I wouldn't say he discourages me from pressing charges, he definitely makes it clear that he will do what I want but that I shouldn't expect anything to happen.
Everytime I talk to the detective, I vaccilate between wanting to just move on by saying forget it, he served 3.5 days in jail so just drop it and I can move on with my life; and thinking, the bastard stole my car, put me through a week of insane stress and he deserves to be prosecuted.
The detective always says, "Well, he did spend almost 4 days in jail for it." Like . . . that's enough? I'm thinking that if he gets probation, if nothing else it might make him think twice before doing it again since I would assume they would be tougher on him if he did it again.
It's discouraging thinking about saying prosecute when I know they probably won't. So, he told me to think about it a little longer.
We talked about it a bit and he said that he would get to it today. He told me that he would suggest to the DA that they only charge AA with a misdemeanor and that at most he'd probably get probation. At worst, the DA wouldn't press charges because of my relationship with AA at the time he took the car.
The detective called again today to see what I wanted to do -- apparently, he's forgotten our prior conversation. And, the thing that sucks is, while I wouldn't say he discourages me from pressing charges, he definitely makes it clear that he will do what I want but that I shouldn't expect anything to happen.
Everytime I talk to the detective, I vaccilate between wanting to just move on by saying forget it, he served 3.5 days in jail so just drop it and I can move on with my life; and thinking, the bastard stole my car, put me through a week of insane stress and he deserves to be prosecuted.
The detective always says, "Well, he did spend almost 4 days in jail for it." Like . . . that's enough? I'm thinking that if he gets probation, if nothing else it might make him think twice before doing it again since I would assume they would be tougher on him if he did it again.
It's discouraging thinking about saying prosecute when I know they probably won't. So, he told me to think about it a little longer.
Phase Two
So, AA's daughter brought up that there might be health issues and that I should get myself fully checked. I just got back from the doctor, had a full gyno exam and they're doing a full blood panel. Had to take 6 vials of blood. Thought I was going to puke.
Granted, I've acted stupidly in this whole affair -- allowing him to know where I live too early, sex too early, etc., but . . . I did it all from the perspective of trusting him which, I know was also acting stupidly. I've had way too many people point out how stupid, trusting and nice I've been through this and, I own that. I've only told four friends and no family about any of this. My family doesn't even know I was seeing AA. But all four friends and the very nice policemen (all 4 of them) all made it a point to tell me that I'm too nice and too trusting.
Again, I know that and I know I brought this on myself, to some extent, but . . . the health scare is . . . well, really scary. It'll be a week before we get results and I'll probably have to test again in a few months. HIV isn't the scare or issue -- he doesn't have that but, I saw his health record (he gave me permission to look at it after he got out of jail) and . . . there's one fairly major potential issue on there. The only ray of hope is that it requires exchange of blood and we never did that (which would be gross) but, there's still always a risk.
So, wish me luck! The other odd thing is, I think I am experiencing, for the first time in my life, a slight depression over all this. Or, it could be hormones -- I was PMSing the last couple of days too.
p.s. His daughter actually sent me a friend request on Facebook yesterday. I accepted it but am feeling slightly ambivalent. I trust her, she and her mother have been nothing but kind and helpful to me but . . . I just question the wisdom of maintaining contact. Also, despite trusting her, because of all the shit that has gone on, I can't help but be a smidge suspicious and . . . I hate that this whole thing has done that to me. Made me someone who would be suspicious of an act of friendship.
Granted, I've acted stupidly in this whole affair -- allowing him to know where I live too early, sex too early, etc., but . . . I did it all from the perspective of trusting him which, I know was also acting stupidly. I've had way too many people point out how stupid, trusting and nice I've been through this and, I own that. I've only told four friends and no family about any of this. My family doesn't even know I was seeing AA. But all four friends and the very nice policemen (all 4 of them) all made it a point to tell me that I'm too nice and too trusting.
Again, I know that and I know I brought this on myself, to some extent, but . . . the health scare is . . . well, really scary. It'll be a week before we get results and I'll probably have to test again in a few months. HIV isn't the scare or issue -- he doesn't have that but, I saw his health record (he gave me permission to look at it after he got out of jail) and . . . there's one fairly major potential issue on there. The only ray of hope is that it requires exchange of blood and we never did that (which would be gross) but, there's still always a risk.
So, wish me luck! The other odd thing is, I think I am experiencing, for the first time in my life, a slight depression over all this. Or, it could be hormones -- I was PMSing the last couple of days too.
p.s. His daughter actually sent me a friend request on Facebook yesterday. I accepted it but am feeling slightly ambivalent. I trust her, she and her mother have been nothing but kind and helpful to me but . . . I just question the wisdom of maintaining contact. Also, despite trusting her, because of all the shit that has gone on, I can't help but be a smidge suspicious and . . . I hate that this whole thing has done that to me. Made me someone who would be suspicious of an act of friendship.
Got a Booty Call
From AA last night. Well, really a booty text. It was odd. He texted me and was being very charming and attentive and I was sitting here thinking, "What does he want?" and then . . . I get this text: "I wish we cld make love. I miss that."
Then, a few minutes later: "One last time, dear?"
Then, a few minutes later: "I want you now."
Then, a few minutes later: "4get I said that."
Then, a few minutes later: "These are my thoughts and feelings. Let's not make it worse. We can't act on nothing."
And, I'm thinking . . . "thoughts and feelings?" Noo, you're just a horny man. You have no feelings, at least emotional ones. You may have physical feelings . . . but, he's not capable of really caring about anyone else. He's a classic narcissistic personality.
Then it digressed into a discussion about his stuff. I told him I'd gotten rid of everything except the medical paperwork and his hat. He flipped out and told me to leave him alone and stop contacting him.
Huh? I wasn't the one sending booty-call texts.
It's funny, his daughter was saying that every woman he's ever been with takes him back and never does anything to him about stealing their car. I think I've thrown him a curve cuz: a) I had him arrested; b) I'm pressing charges; c) I didn't take him back; and d) I'm not falling for his bullshit lies and I call him on them.
The super, super, super sad thing is . . . I reeeeeeaaaaalllllyyy wanted to answer the booty call. Physically, that man still draws me. I'm afraid to see him in person cuz I don't know that I'd be able to resist.
How fucked up is that?
Then, a few minutes later: "One last time, dear?"
Then, a few minutes later: "I want you now."
Then, a few minutes later: "4get I said that."
Then, a few minutes later: "These are my thoughts and feelings. Let's not make it worse. We can't act on nothing."
And, I'm thinking . . . "thoughts and feelings?" Noo, you're just a horny man. You have no feelings, at least emotional ones. You may have physical feelings . . . but, he's not capable of really caring about anyone else. He's a classic narcissistic personality.
Then it digressed into a discussion about his stuff. I told him I'd gotten rid of everything except the medical paperwork and his hat. He flipped out and told me to leave him alone and stop contacting him.
Huh? I wasn't the one sending booty-call texts.
It's funny, his daughter was saying that every woman he's ever been with takes him back and never does anything to him about stealing their car. I think I've thrown him a curve cuz: a) I had him arrested; b) I'm pressing charges; c) I didn't take him back; and d) I'm not falling for his bullshit lies and I call him on them.
The super, super, super sad thing is . . . I reeeeeeaaaaalllllyyy wanted to answer the booty call. Physically, that man still draws me. I'm afraid to see him in person cuz I don't know that I'd be able to resist.
How fucked up is that?
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