Weird Night . . .

Hmmm . . . kind of an odd evening.  I decided not to go to Mexico -- I was supposed to leave this morning but I've been battling a cold/laryngitis thing and given my sister's nuttiness, I decided to stay home but still take the days off.

I spent today doing nothing, literally. I woke up, ate a little breakfast, listened to some music, surfed the web, watched a bunch of episodes of a show my brother recommended and then was debating what to do for dinner when my phone rang. I was going to ignore it but decided to see who it was and it was an old friend that I haven't spoken to in a while. He moved to Boston about a year ago and we haven't talked much since he moved. When I saw it was him, I immediately answered.

It was so good to hear from him. Turns out he's out for a few days and he was at a bar with a bunch of folks that he and I used to work with and wanted me to come meet them but they were out in the city and I'm at home in the burbs and by the time I would have gotten ready, gotten there, etc., it would have been over but he and I spoke for a little bit and then he gave the phone to another guy, Matt, that I haven't spoken to in 4 years.

That wasn't necessarily a good thing because I stopped talking to Matt for a reason. Turned out he was a pathological liar and basically a con man (in my opinion) and the last time I saw him he was being fired from his job because they found out he was working for two companies at the same time unbeknownst to each of them.  I had seen him at a trade show in August and avoided him and in September a co-worker forwarded me an email from him saying that he was trying to get in touch with me.

I was a little surprised when Omar put Matt on the phone and didn't know quite what to say. He was trying to be friendly and catch up and I was civil. He offered me a job and gave me his number and asked that I please call him to talk about the job. I didn't write the number down and said I'd think about it.

After about 15 minutes he gave the phone back to Omar and we chatted for a few minutes more and then the phone was handed off to another person and it was a guy I used to work with 7 years ago, Chuck. He and I had a nice, quick chat but we were having a hard time hearing each other due to the bar noise so agreed to have lunch next week.  Omar got back on the phone and we agreed to catch up next week as well.

I hung up and made myself some pasta for dinner. Ate that and popped on to check email and there was an email invitation to a birthday party for another guy I used to work with 7 years ago, Bob. Apparently it's his birthday this weekend and the 49ers are playing the Raiders this weekend (Bob and I are both die-hard Raider fans) and he's throwing a big birthday/tailgate party at the game. I'm going to the game but haven't decided whether I'm going to the party.

When I looked at the invitation, there are 92 people who have responded that they're going and while I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun . . . I haven't seen Bob in 7 years, I'm going to the game by myself, and don't really know anyone else who will be there so . . . it might be odd. But, I might stop by to say happy birthday.

I cleaned up the dinner dishes and settled down on the couch and was contemplating what to watch -- movie, football, etc. -- when my phone rang. Again, I was going to ignore it but on a whim looked to see who it was and . . . it was an old friend that I've been missing lately and that I haven't talked to in a couple of years. His birthday was the other day and I sent him a happy-birthday email and told him I'd been thinking about him and missing talking to him so . . . he was on a long drive tonight and called.

He and I have been friends for 17 years and can go years without talking but then get on the phone and it's like no time has passed. He knows things about me that nobody else knows -- not even my oldest, closest friends -- and I tell him things I would never tell anyone else in my life. I can tell him anything, admit things to him that I would deny to everyone else in my life, and it's always okay.

When we first met, he was married. Then his wife decided she wanted to explore dating other people so they separated for a bit and then got back together. When they reconciled, she insisted that he give up all contact with anyone he dated while they were separated and all of his female friends. He said he would give up contact with everyone except me. She said she wanted him to give up contact with everyone, ESPECIALLY me. He refused. They eventually got divorced.

When we first met, he lived in New York, then Boston, then Washington D.C., back to NYC and now he lives in the Midwest. During, probably, the first seven years we talked every day, sometimes a couple of times a day. Then he started dating the woman that he's currently with (they've been engaged for 10 years) and we still talked four or five times a week and then that went down to three or four times a week, two or three times a week, and then a couple times a month . . . and now once every couple of years.

It's funny . . . we went through a period, when he and his wife first got divorced, where he thought he was in love with me but I told him he was crazy and kept us as friends and . . . I'm glad I did because I think that's what we were meant to be but I do have to say that one of the things that I really am looking for in a romantic relationship is what he and I have on an intellectual and emotional level.

He's one of the smartest guys I know, maybe the smartest, and we can talk about anything. I don't have to dumb myself down, or pretend I don't know or understand something which I know and understand very well to stroke his ego, etc.  

And he's comfortable with himself, emotionally stable, self-confident, and has a great sense of humor. He's mature, responsible, reasonable, rational and a reconstructive surgeon. He's basically everything I say that I want in a guy. I've just never been romantically attracted to him.

We chatted for a couple of hours, he reached his destination and sat in the car talking to me for another 30 minutes or so and then we said goodbye. As I was hanging up, I heard him say something but I was already hanging up so I called him back and asked what I missed and he said, "No, nothing. I was just saying I love you and miss you." I said, "Awww, I love you and miss you." and . . . I do. Not in that way, but . . . he and I have a weird bond.

So, all this put me in a thoughtful mood. Being bombarded with contacts from old friends and co-workers (in addition to tonight, I had dinner with a former boss on Monday and ran into another former co-worker that I haven't seen in 7 years yesterday).

Life . . .

10/10/10

Interesting weekend. Last night I went to a sake tasting at the family's Buddhist temple. It was fun and funny. They had about 20 different sakes to taste -- some were awful, some were okay, and a couple were really good.  They also served bento boxes -- all food homemade by temple members which was really good.

I went to the sake tasting with two of my brothers and two of their friends. My oldest brother went home after the tasting event and the three other guys and I went out drinking. I don't really drink so, I figured I would end up being the designated driver which I did and which was fine with me.  It was an interesting experience in many ways.

We went to about five or six different bars and I have to say, it was fascinating watching all of the people there pretty much all of whom seemed to be there to try to meet, pick up, etc., someone. It was kind of icky.

One of the FOBs (friends of brothers) thought I was about 15 years younger than I am. That was nice.

With each bar/club we went to, the guys got drunker and drunker and I, as predicted, ended up being the designated driver. Problem is, we were in one of the FOB's cars which isn't really a problem except that we all agreed that I would take everyone home and then drive the car to my house and he would come and get it this morning.

This morning I decided to go to my brother's to watch the Colts game and figured I'd drive FOB's car and leave it there and then have my bro take me back to my place. That way it'd be easier for FOB to get his car because I was leaving for the Raiders game at noon so wouldn't have to worry about how to get his keys back to him. Well, I went up to my bro's, watched the Colts game (they beat the hated Chiefs -- YAY!!!!!!) but my bro couldn't get ahold of FOB to tell him the car was now at his (bro's) house so I drove the car back in case FOB was going to just show up and get it (which was the plan).

We texted FOB that the keys were hidden in the car cuz I was heading off to the Raiders' game but . . . I got home from the game and . . . the car is still here. But, I just went out to grab the keys and it's gone so . . . I hope it was FOB who took it and that it wasn't stolen.

My nephew was supposed to go to the game with me but he pulled a no-show so I went by myself. On the way to the game, two different guys on BART tried to convince me to take them to the game with me. I was tempted to allow one of them but decided not to.

The best part of the weekend . . . the Raiders beat the HATED Chargers. I yelled so much at the game I gave myself a headache but it was worth it. Great game.